SATIRE - A CAREGIVER’S NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

SATIRE – 

A CAREGIVER’S NIGHT AT THE MOVIES

If it weren't so funny, I'd be jumping out of a window just now. 

In the interest of having some fun, we had gotten tickets to an evening event. LTV was on satire, which I foolishly thought would be a lot of old jokes and belly laughs. Now it's only a 4-minute drive to the venue so I anticipated nothing untoward happening. WRONG.

First of all, the Audio Visual wasn't working so we couldn't hear and the visuals were boring. 

I had brought him in the wheelchair and I'm really glad I did. 

Before leaving the theatre and going to the car, my charge indicated he needed to find the restroom, which was located somewhere, seemingly two towns over. I waited outside of the restroom for as long as seemed reasonable then went in and found he hadn't taken a handicap stall but rather a standard stall, and he was stuck on the toilet, unable to get off by himself. 

Even better, he had locked the door and couldn't get up far enough to reach the lock. 

So, ever resourceful, I lay down on my back and scuttled in and took the lock off. BUT I still couldn't get him up and off, so I went searching for help. I wandered the seemingly empty building and finally found one poor guy rearranging chairs. He came and got my charge up and into the wheelchair.
But wait, the fun wasn't over so easily. To make transferring him easier, I pushed him in his wheelchair out to the curb leaving him sort of on the side of the parking lot, then went to get the car and pulled up next to him to make the transfer. While  I was wrestling the chair into the car, the sprinklers came on getting the car and me wet. 

Wait, it gets better (but my language doesn't.) I pulled up to the armed gate............it's locked! I drove around looking for another exit, not to be found. I went back to the main gate and entered the guard shack to find nobody just a lot of serious-looking equipment and tv monitors but no button to open the gate. Finally, the security guy came and let us out.

I came home and made a drink.

Just remember the take away is to teach them to use HANDICAP STALLS and NOT lock the door